I'm on Netflix, iTunes & S*** - Comparing Ourselves to Others

Recently, I had the privilege to drive a couple of comedy writers around at local film festival. Introductions were just beginning to happen between the two as they got in the black Nissan Armada. The first thing I heard was, "Yeah, my documentary is on Netflix, iTunes,  & S***."    The filmmakers were throwing out what they were working on, what they had worked, on and who they had worked with. They both had worked on super cool projects, not necessarily main stream, but notable projects. You could tell they were comparing themselves to one another, and then, they began to talk about the types of films and TV programs they watched.  Neither liked to watch comedies.  Both said they didn't like to watch comedies, because it made them feel bad - gave them a complex.  Either they would become fixated as to why their agent didn't submit them to write for a particular show if it was good, or if the show was bad, they would start to feel depressed  their projects weren't garnering more interest or being produced.

Hearing two legitimate comedy writers talk about comparisons they make to others made me feel pretty normal.  Don't you compare yourself to what friends and colleagues are doing?   Don't you think,  "Wow they landed an awesome job, they do so many great things for their community, they got called in for that audition - why didn't the casting director request me,  their children seem so perfect,  they're at that party/I wish I could have gone/they are working their connections."  People often talk about or create social media postings the best parts of their lives.  Consequently, people and social media make it easy to compare ourselves to others.  However, it's important to remember what people boast about in person or on social media is not always the truth.  Most people don't talk about or post their failures, fights, or faux pas.  We need to make sure that making comparisons do not fuel anxiety or low self-esteem.

So, here are the things I do:

1. Sometimes, I take a break from social media.
2. I tell myself I am in a different season of life or at a different point in my career.   I am a mom of an 8 and 11 year old and my husband travels quite a bit, so I can't go to every industry party, attend every weekend workshop, audition for every play, make crafty gifts for my children's teachers or volunteer like my friends with no kids or grown kids.
3.  I use the comparisons to set goals for myself.  Maybe, I can't attend every networking opportunity my non-kid  or grown-kid friends can, but I could choose one or two to attend.  I've hired a babysitter, and I'm going to a local industry party this week.  One of my friends began producing short films. I thought I can do that, so I set a goal to produce a film before the end of the year.  To foster this, I signed up for a weekend workshop with a respected local writer/director as well as a summer film production program at my local university.  Guess what?  I've produced two shorts in the past four months, am working on another, and have been approached for a fourth one.
4.  I remember what is important.  For me, it's listening to what my mind, body, and spirit tell me, working with people who are positive, fun, and respect me, nurturing a healthy family, home life, and marriage, knowing when enough is enough, being able to say no, and not over committing.
5.  Finally, I'm going to steal from the quote in the photo above and from the comedy writer I overheard, because saying "____ and sh**" can make anything you do sound like it's the bomb.  "Yeah, I drove carpool and sh***" today.  This makes me sound like the most awesome carpool driver evah. Compare yourself to that! #BAM.

What are your ideas to make sure making comparisons do not fuel anxiety or low self esteem?